Love is Blind
by Otaku Kid1996
Summary: Prequel to Love is Dangerous. I never expected to fall in love with Beyond Birthday. Nor did I expect anything that came with it, such as the physical and emotional pain. I was never supposed to love him. L was never supposed to fall in love. But unfortunately, love is blind and it cannot be helped.


A/N: Sorry for not updating L.i.D., guys. Just think of this as a prequel to it. Besides, this has a lemon in it, so I hope you enjoy. And now for the warnings... This fiction contains yaoi, meaning guy on guy love. It also includes some lemon and some sadism/masochism. Don't like it, then hit the back button and forgot you ever found this fic. The sadism/masochism doesn't go any further than being "rough", scratches, or bites. That's all there is. So... yeah. Oh, and L may seem a little OOC, but this is before he actually had to be an almost emotionless, "uncaring" detective as we all know him to be.

*Edit* Yeah, that's right! Re-uploaded, guys! Last time this was up... didn't stay up for long. Please keep in mind that I haven't really read over any mistakes. Today is my birthday and it's 11:55, meaning it's almost over. Yeah. A day after New Years. Actually sucks... Oh well. Anyways, I was planning on putting up the next chapter of L.i.D., but well... I only have the internet on my phone and ever since getting a laptop, I don't feel like uploading with my phone, especially since I already have most of it typed up on my laptop. I should be able to uodate tomorrow though, since the internet is only turned off at night. Yes, I realize how lame that is... But oh well!

Disclaimer: This is fanfiction, not fictionpress. Of course I don't own anything! So, please enjoy and review. Oh and there is a part in here that I just read in L Change the World, then I just sorta rephrased it. When it gets to the champion of justice part, I am unfortunately not good enough to have come up with that whole thing on my own. Especially since I wrote this story down at 3:30 in the morning. Okay, enough of my talking. Enjoy!

I was eight years old when I first met Beyond Birthday. My parents died the year before in a car crash on the way to pick me up from elementary school. I don't really remember them as well as I did back then, so I cannot say that I am still sad about it. I do recall crying a lot on that day, however.

I was sent to a regular orphanage. A year later when I was eight years old, I managed to single handedly put an end to the Winchester Mad Bombings, preventing the outbreak of a World War III. That was when Quillsh Wammy found me and brought me to his orphanage - Wammy's House for "exceedingly bright and gifted children." Most of the children that went to Wammy's grew up to be successful detectives or doctors who could probably develop cures for cancer, or even just scientists who helped improve the world. In other words, the people at Wammy's had high expectations for the children who went there. No one was ever adopted unless they requested it. That hardly ever happened at all.

When I was brought to Wammy's house, I'll admit, I was extremely nervous. All I had in my luggage were some clothes that I'd had for a year already (which were a little ragged by now), a light blue baby blanket with strawberry patterns on it, and a picture of me with my parents. In the picture, I was sitting on a swing with my mother sitting next to me on a swing to my left while my father stood in between us. We were all smiling. I hadn't smiled like that since the day of their deaths.

I was brought over to a room on the second floor with the number 13 on it. "Well," Wammy said, "I'll be going now. If you need anything, please do not hesitate to find me or Roger in the main offices. I will stop by your room tomorrow to check on you, L."

I looked up at him in confusion. "L?"

"Well, you see, everyone here at Wammy's has an alias of sorts."

"Why?"

"Well, a lot of people here grow up to be well known detectives, or people with a lot of power. This is more or less like a safety measure."

"Oh..."

"You will be the one to choose your own alias. Since you have yet to do so, we will call you L until you have decided on one."

I nodded my head in response and he left. I opened the door in front of me with my left hand while my right hand gripped my suitcase tighter. When I opened the door, there was no one else in the room. I walked in, closing the door behind me.

There was a second door on the wall to my right, which I assumed must have been a restroom. On the wall in front of me, there was a big window that was frosted over and foggy. Next to it, up against the wall, there was a bed with a black comforter and a pillow with a white pillow case. At the foot of the bed, there was a nightstand with an empty jar of strawberry jam on it. I guess I had a roommate.

I looked over to my right to see a bed with white sheets on it and a white comforter folded neatly at the edge of the bed with a pillow in a plain white pillow case on top of it. I guess they were expecting me. To the left of this bed that was up against the corner of the walls, there was a wooden nightstand that I assumed was for me.

I went over to the nightstand and took the contents of my suitcase out, placing them neatly inside the the nightstand. Then, I put the suitcase under my bed. After that, I made my bed. It was starting to get a little hot, so I took off my big brown coat, my gloves, and my grey scarf. Then I just swept them under my bed. I sat down on the bed with my knees brought up to my chest. I didn't really have much to do, so I just sat there and watched the snow outside the window slowly fall.

I looked over at the door to my new room as I heard it open and close. I almost jumped. Whoever this guy was, he looked a lot like me! Although, he seemed to be a little taller and he wasn't as thin. He seemed a little older than me. Imagine my surprise when I found out he was a year younger than me. I suppose he ate more than me... I don't know.

He didn't seem to notice me right away. He walked over to his bed and sat down. Then, when he was now looking in my direction, he finally noticed me.

"Oh? You must be my new roommate. And what might your name be?"

I thought about what Wammy said before answering.

"...L... And who are you..?"

"I'm B," he stated simply.

He stood up and walked in my direction. Then, he sat down in front of me on my bed. He seemed to be looking at something above my head. I looked up but saw nothing. I looked back down at him. I noticed that his face was longer than mine. He seemed to be at least a year older than me.

"Hmm..." he hummed. "L. Lawliet... You're almost adorable." He laughed.

I gasped. "H-how did you...? Wait... Almost?" I pouted.

"It's a secret. And okay, you're cute. Is that better?"

I felt my face get really hot. B laughed at me.

"That was cute, actually. I think I want you..." Wait, what? "Yeah... You can be my pet... Or better yet, my doll."

"P-pet...? Doll?"

"Yes. Now, tell me, have you ever been kissed, my pet?"

'What the heck?' I thought. 'What type of question is that to ask an eight year old? I don't even like girls, yet.' And, because of B, I never did like women.

"No..." I answered.

"Good," he said. "Because you're my doll."

"Huh?"

"Well, if I want something, that means it's mine. That's how things work with me."

"Huh?"

"That means you belong to me, L, and nobody else."

"..." B was a confusing child.

Then, out of all things to do at that moment, he leans in and kisses me on lips! I couldn't believe it! He pulled away and glared at me.

"You are supposed to kiss me back, L. That's how a kiss works!" He pouted.

"But... I thought boys were only supposed to kiss girls!"

He rolled his eyes at me.

"So? I don't like girls, I like boys. The last one I had left when he asked to be adopted. He was no fun. So now, I like you. So shut up and kiss me, Lawliet."

I almost wanted to do it. Something about B... really made me want to kiss him. Of course, I was only 8 years old at the time. So, I was mostly just curious.

He pressed his lips against mine again, but I still didn't kiss him back. He pulled away and glared at me, again.

"Guess I'll have to make you..."

"Huh?"

He grabbed a handfull of my hair and pulled back, tipping my head back. I wimpered in pain.

"You're gonna kiss me. Got it?"

I nodded. He let go of my hair and kissed me again. This time, I kissed him back. It actually felt kinda nice. That was my first kiss ever.

...

I was sixteen years old when I finally lost my virginity to B. By then, B had turned me into quite the masochist. My first time was painful, but I also experienced the most amazing feeling I'd ever felt in my life. By then, I knew that I loved B. When Wammy saw the scars that B left on my body (there were a lot in many different places, but Wammy only saw my arms, wrists, and my neck on occasions when I couldn't wear a scarf), I would cover up for B, saying that I was the one who did it. For that reason, B made sure to only bite me in places no one would see.

Wammy would always be so dissapointed in me. But after a while, I didn't care as much. I was in love with B, and that was all I cared about. Well, most of what I cared about. Throughout my years at Wammy's, I'd been solving cases that were usually painfully easy for me, but "unsolveable" for others. I was considering using a real alias. So I had discussed it with B one day.

All he said was, "Stay as L. I don't want to know you by any other name. You won't be Lawliet, so be L."

So that's what I did. I was known, world wide by the time I was 15 years old, as L, the greatest detective in the world.

Unfortunately, on my 18th birthday, I had to leave for that reason. It was Halloween, so all the Wammy's kids were out doing activities. Earlier that day, Wammy and I were discussing what was going to happen. I would continue my work as L alongside Wammy. There was a place where we would live for a while, and different possible locations for me to live in or stay at if I need to be in certain areas. I already had my whole future planned out for me.

But I wanted to have a choice. Unfortunately, I didn't. The rest of the world depended on me. I had no choice... I made it a point to tell Wammy that if I was going to be L, I needed successors. I knew that without B, I would eventually crack.

So, that Halloween night while everyone was out, I said my goodbyes to B. We were the only ones still in our bedroom.

"I am sorry, B. But, the world depends on L... They need me... I cannot sit back and be selfish enough to stop helping people all for a... relationship..."

"Lawliet, you cannot be serious!" Beyond shouted. "Just... Forget them for a while! Stay with me for just a while longer... please..."

"I am sorry, B. But I can't... We don't see these things quite the same... I want to help the world in any way I can. Whereas you... You only wish to do things that benefit you... So, I do not expect you to understand what I'm feeling at this moment. But... I have to go."

I grabbed my suitcase that I brought with me to this place. All that there was now was a tattered old faded baby blanket, the picture of me and my parents, some old jeans and T-shirts, my old grey scarf, and a picture of me and B smiling, sitting next to each other, and holding hands.

I turned around to leave the room, but was stopped when I felt B's hand around my wrist.

"Lawliet..." he said, making me turn around to look back at him. His big black eyes were pleading... "Let's just... make love one last time..."

I felt myself starting to blush. I couldn't say no. I dropped the suitcase and nodded. His eyes were hopeful, but sad... almost desperate. He looked almost broken. My chest was starting to hurt. I didn't want to leave him, but I'd have to.

I embraced B and placed kisses along his jawline and down to his neck. He moaned lightly. "I love you, B..."

"I love you too, L."

He pulled my shirt off and I did the same to him. We slowly undressed each other. I didn't want this night to ever end. When there was no clothing left, B and I just stood there, holding each other.

We finally moved over to B's bed. He pushed me down gently on to the bed. How funny that now, of all times, in our sadistic and masochistic relationship, he was being gentle.

He kissed me on the lips, softly, as if he was savoring the moment. I kissed back, desperately. He broke the kiss and trailed more kisses down my neck and on to my chest. He stopped at one of my nipples and swirled his tongue over it, making me moan. Then, he sucked on it while using his hand to pinch my other one.

"B... hnn..."

"It's Beyond..." he panted. "Beyond... Birthday..." Then, he went back to sucking.

"Beyond..." I moaned. He shivered. "I... please... Why are you being so... Ahhhn... gentle?"

He looked up at me and said, "It's our last time together..."

"Then... Make it as special as our first..."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes..."

He nodded. He brought his lips back up to mine and bit my bottom lip hard enough to draw blood. I moaned. I could taste my own blood... He forced his tongue into my mouth, claiming dominance, the taste of strawberry jam and blood filling my mouth for perhaps the last time ever.

I felt tears threatening to to come out. I would not allow that now of all times. I blinked them back. I clawed desperately at Beyond's back. Beyond pulled away from me, but we were still only inches away from each other. He straddled my hips while supporting himself with his elbows.

There was a light sheen of sweat on his forehead and blood on his lips. His eyes were half lidded and he was already panting. There was only one word on my mind; beautiful. We locked eyes for a moment before Beyond pulled himself up so he was sitting with his cock alligned at my entrance.

"Are you ready, Lawliet?" he asked.

I nodded.

"I'm not going to prepare you... It's going to hurt..."

"I know," I breathed out. I wanted the pain. I wanted Beyond Birthday to be the only person who could ever love me and hurt me like this.

With one forceful shove, he pushed his cock inside of me. I gasped in pain. He pulled back and slammed back in. My hands tightly gripped the blanket beneath me. I almost screamed. My eyes closed tightly as he did it again.

Finally, I was able to enjoy the pain. It was not only pain now, but also pleasure. He slammed in again and I called out his name. I could feel blood trickling out of my rear and down onto Beyond's black comforter.

Beyond used his index finger to collect some of the blood. He licked it off, seductively. My cock twitched. I tried to reach down for it, but he grabbed my wrists and pinned them down next to my head. I tried to free at least one of my hands, but he was too strong.

"You're not pleasuring yourself, tonight. Leave it all to me, Lawlipop."

I only nodded in response. He slammed into me once again while using his nails to break the skin on my wrists. I moaned out, arching my back. Beyond let go of my wrists and pumped my cock in time with his thrusts.

"B-beyond...! Hnnggh..."

"Lawliet!"

He finally hit that one spot that sent me waves of pleasure down my spine. His moves got faster.

"H-ha-harder, Beyond! P-leeease..." I moaned. Beyond complied, making me cry out his name over and over again. "Beyond... B... Hnnnn.. Bey..! I-I'm... cum... I'm going to...c..."

"I know," he growled. "Go ahead..." he said, giving one more big thrust, sending me over the edge.

"BEYOND!" I practically screamed as I climaxed, spraying cum on our chests and on Beyond's hand. I was breathing hard as he continued to thrust into me. He gave me a seductive grin.

"Lawliet came so much..." he bent over and licked cum off my chest. I moaned again. He was still thrusting into me, now from another angle. I felt myself getting hard again. "Already, Lawlipop?" He chuckled. He thrusted even harder into me, making me moan, calling out his name several more times. Then, he held the base of my erection so I couldn't come.

"B-Beyond... pleeease... L-let me... cum... please..."

"Not yet, Lawliet. We'll cum together. Alright?" I only nodded.

B continued to thrust into me, each time even harder than the last. "Uhnng..." My eyes closed again in pain and pleasure. I needed to cum. This was torture... Finally, Beyond let go of my dick and I released again.

"BEYOND!" I screamed out.

"Lawliet!" he called out as he came into me. We rode out our orgasms just a little bit longer until Beyond finally pulled out. He was lying next to me, breathing hard. We shared one last kiss.

After a while, I cleaned mine and Beyond's cum along with my own blood off of my body. My wrists were bleeding just a little, so Beyond applied bandaids to the cuts he made. I got dressed, grabbed my suitcase, and said goodbye to him before walking out the door.

I had some troubles walking at first, but I knew no one would notice, anyways. I walked down to Wammy's office to let him know that I was ready to go. He nodded and led me outside. As I got into the back of a limo, Wammy got into the driver's seat and started to drive off.

I looked up at the window to my old bedroom where I knew Beyond was watching me. When we drove out of site, I put up a privacy screen so I could be alone.

Tears finally leaked out. My body was shaking with silent unheard sobs. I took my seat belt off and pulled my legs up against my chest. I wrapped my arms around my legs and buried my face in my knees. I kept shaking my head no as if it would change anything. I kept crying, thinking of tonight and how I would never forget it.

"Beyond Birthday..." I muttered. "I love you..."

After I finally stopped crying, I promised myself I would never show any true emotion ever again. I promised that I'd never give in to something as foolish as love ever again. The world needed me. So I'd be there for every case I decided to solve. I'd be a champion of justice if they needed me to be.

Even if... Even if years later, I ended up the way I am, now, looking back at it all. Even if the strain was so heavy, my own back would curve under the weight of it all on my shoulders. Even if being L caused an agony so so terrible to leave indelible dark circles under my own eyes. Even if it gave me a feeling so bitter that every bite I took needed to be coated in sugar...

I would suppress the pain of being L, a "hero", a champion of justice. Even if the evidence was later molded into my very body. I'd do it for the sake of the world.

And later on in life, for Beyond.

Only a year later did Wammy, now known as Watari, tell me about my possible successors. There was A and B. I knew Beyond would be furious when he found out about the choice to make him a successor. I went to the orphanage to check on them. A was new. I knew this because I never knew A before I left Wammy's.

When I was there, I saw the two of them sitting together during their lunch period. Beyond saw me and for a moment, our eyes met. He glared at me, angrilly. By now, he knew he was a possible successor. He probably would have left by now, but he wasn't 18 yet. I imagine he was not only angry with me for leaving him behind the year before, but also angry about that as well. It's not like I chose him myself... I was about to approach them and he seemed to notice this.

He wrapped his arms around the young brunette boy next to him. He kissed him on the cheek, making him blush. I see... He found another doll... I felt my stomach clench and my chest tighten. I tried to swallow a lump in my throat, but it would not go away. I was... Jealous! This wasn't supposed to happen! But... it did... I left, not bothering to look back.

Shortly after that, A commited suicide. He could not handle the pressure of being L's successor, apparently. A day later, Beyond Birthday ran away from Wammy's, a full month before his 18th birthday.

Years later, I did not expect to see Beyond again as a serial killer who was challenging me. I had to put him behind bars, even if it hurt me to do it. Soon after, he died of a heart attack.

I vowed to get revenge for Beyond Birthday. And I would. I never expected that I would ever fall in love with someone like him. Mainly because not supposed to love anyone. I didn't expect him to come back and play sadistic mind games with me. Nor did I expect him to to come when I just happened to be handcuffed to Light Yagami. But Beyond Birthday did always love the unexpected. And unfortunately for me, love is blind.

A/N: God, this was a horrible disaster... ._.'


End file.
